Monday, September 5, 2016

090116

Do you have any idea how much that one tinyass gesture meant to me? Do you have any idea how hard that was for me to do? To break down my walls, to let it all crumble down. To allow three little words make or break my being.

Do you have any idea how much that meant to me? To be able to say it again without breaking down. To be able to trust again. To be able to blurt out those three words without falling apart.

Do you have any idea how much I wanted to hear those words too? To know that I am worthy of those words. To know that I mean something to you too. To know that I deserve the love I want.

To know that this isn't just another mindless fling.

Well.. Do you?



Monday, June 20, 2016

Random Thoughts

Isn't it weird how someone who used to be your whole world now means so little? Like, whenever you think about it, you feel like those memories you have of that certain person happened a lifetime ago...


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Worth Sharing Wednesdays # 6

"Love changes people. Or maybe people try to change love. Hands can be weapons, but our lips become fists, and tongues turn to knives. So, forgive me for flinching when your mouth is pressed against my neck. It would be much easier if we weren’t so chemical, and just let physics take over. I want love like gravity: where two objects fall at the exact same rate of speed. So long as there’s no resistance, we fall together. Our past wouldn’t cling to us, and no upbringing would slow us down. We’d entrust each other with our own lungs, and guard hearts like they were the last two left. When I tell you I’d fight for you, remind me I’ll never have to. And feel how freeing it is knowing that, moving forward, anything that threatens us will be beaten back, not by one, but by two. I want “no matter what”. I want us to feel the fear of falling, but be so God damned ready for each other, that we lock arms, and get a running start. Anything short of that, isn’t worth the drop. And, quite frankly, I’ve only got a few falls left..."

-J. Raymond

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Worth Sharing Wednesdays # 5

"Maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it's the only person who will ever receive all of you. After that, you learn better. But, most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you loved - a piece no future lover could ever get, no mater what. That piece holds innocence - the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error, that one kiss you’ll never forget and that night under the stars you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you thought love would be. Everything that was proven wrong."


(CTTO)

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Worth Sharing Wednesdays # 4

"Looks have shit-all to do with love. Love isn't found in the attraction you have to someone. Love isn't found in the laughter you share. Love isn't even found in all the things you have in common. Love is not, in any way, shape or form, defined by nor found in the abundance of bliss it brings two people.

Love.. Love is not found. Love finds.

Love finds you in the forgiveness at the tail end of a fight. Love finds you in the empathy you feel for someone else. Love finds you in the embrace that follows a tragedy. Love finds you in the celebration after the conquering of an illness. Love finds you in the devastation after the surrender to an illness.

May love find you in every tragedy you face."

- Too Late, Colleen Hoover

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Worth Sharing Wednesdays # 3

"Do you think you weren't loved enough?"

She tilted her head and looked at me. Then she gave a sharp little nod. "Somewhere between 'not enough' and 'not at all.' I was hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it - to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once."

- Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Worth Sharing Wednesdays # 2

"Love will always persevere no matter what happens in your life, so once you have it, nurture it and never let it go. Through death and loss and damage and lust, love remains faithful and true. It never wavers, it merely waits patiently until you decide to let it in.

You can lose yourself a million times over, but your heart will always know who you are. In every wound and place on emptiness, love provides a light that guides you through the darkness.

It relentlessly seeks you out and stops at nothing to find you.

Love always finds you.

And when it does, it will bring you home."

- His Wounded Light, Christine Brae

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Worth Sharing Wednesdays # 1

"I'll never love like that again."

"You're right, but you don't have to be so fatalistic. There's no sense in comparing loves because every one is different. The things you love about them are different. Your experiences together, memories, common interests - all different. But just because you'll never love the same doesn't mean you won't love better."

- Amanda Torroni

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Honey, That's Not Love

But honey, you know nothing about love. 

It's not love if it's only benefiting you, not both of you. 

It's not love if all you did was made her crazy. 

It's not love if you're only craving for the physical stuff. 

It's not love if you claim you're telling the truth when in fact you just selectively tell her what you want her to know.

It's not love when you can stand not speaking to her for days.

It’s not love if you’re just leading her on.

That's not love, my dear. 

You think it is because you're the only one feeling it. She loved you so damn hard, you know. I saw the way she submitted herself to you. She gave you everything she had, not caring if she's left with nothing. She just wanted you to be happy. She loved you in ways you can't love her. But you just threw it away, telling yourself you deserve so much better when she already gave her best. She loved you too much, too hard that she'll always take you back no matter how many times you screwed up. 

That's her fault I guess, loving the ones who know nothing about love; loving the lost, the broken.

But it's your fault too, for not appreciating the love she's willing to give.

Someday, the universe will give back all the love she gave you that you took for granted. To another guy who knows her worth, someone who knows how to take care of her. And when that day comes, that's when you'll realize that you lost the moon while chasing after dead stars and bright, deceiving meteorites.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Constant Conversations # 3

"Siguro hindi ako girlfriend material. Siguro hanggang dito lang yung capability ko na magmahal. Hanggang fling lang. Hanggang fubu lang. Siguro may ginawa ako sa past life ko kaya hanggang dito lang yung kaya ko."

"Siguro rin kasi, di mo pa nakikilala yung taong para sayo." 

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Constant Conversations # 2

"Sometimes we are so focused on our own pain / sadness that we do not realize the pain / sadness we're inflicting on others."

Friday, March 4, 2016

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

NTS // 030116

Stop saying you're okay when you're really not okay.
Stop saying you're fine when you're far from it.
You're hurt not just because they hurt you, 
but because you let them hurt you.
Do not let them. It's that simple.
Stop saying you're okay with things that you're not okay with
just because you're scared of how they'll react if you say no.
Stop thinking about other people's feelings sometimes 
and consider your own because at the end of the day,
everyone thinks of themselves and their own happiness, not other people.
You are your own company.
Take care of yourself because at the end of the day,
it's just you. Only you.
So say no when you really, really wanna say no.
Say, "no I'm not okay with it" when you're really, really not okay with it.
Say "fck you, you're not in charge of my happiness today, or any other day"
when that person just won't stop fcking around with your feelings.
Just say it and make yourself happy.
Truly, unbelievably happy,
regardless of how others feel.
Just be damn happy.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

On Giving Up On People

I'm not the type to easily give up on people. No matter how many times they hurt me or screw me over, I still think about all the good they have in them. As a person, I believe that everyone is good. I once watched this debate whether or not people are good or bad in nature. I believe that everyone can do bad things. Adam and Eve proved that. But for every Adam and Eve out there, there's a Mother Theresa. Okay not exactly the perfect metaphor but you get it right?

People, for me, are naturally good. 

Since I believe that people are naturally good,  it's in my nature to trust and to hold on to people. That no matter what they do, no matter how bad things get, I am inclined to believe that they will come through, eventually. 

So when I give up on you, know that it took everything in my power to do that. When I give up on people, it means I'm done with them for life. 

I'm the type to give a person hundreds of chances to change what needs to be changed. I'm the type to bend over backwards forgiving people who doesn't deserve to be forgiven yet I still want them in my life. I'm the type of person who would rather forgive than poison myself with anger and bitterness.

But I'm also the type who gets easily tired of bullshitry and assholeyness.